One further note: Having three sons means a certain degree of ahhh...how do I put this? OK, lets just say, 'Physical Interaction'.
However, our policy regarding violence is simple - Hands in the pockets, which is to say 'No Fighting' with other people. The addendum to this unwritten rule is .....unless of course their choking you, or something equally vile - then all bets are off and you are free to 'kick em in the nuts', or get creative.
So here we are in Israel, and its the first time I allow two of the boys to go to the park themselves. Which if you know me at all is the antithesis of the way I was back in the good ol' US of A ("Paranoid" would have been a better description of me).
Well our nine and a half year old asked to go to the park and our six year old wanted to go with him...by themselves, mind you. Anyhoo (I'm obsessed with this word) we granted their request, and after frequent repetitions of "do not talk to strangers" and "don't go anywhere with strangers" and "look both ways before you cross the street and mind the cars", as well as my particular favorite "no one can touch you in a potty place" ect, ect. they set off together holding hands. it was so sweet.
They come back an hour and a half later and they are dirty, dusty and rumpled looking, not an un-normal occurence for my children. But they look like they are bursting with important news: "Guess what happened at the park" they tell us.
and I'm thinking "oh, crap"
they didn't wait for an invitation, they launch into this tale of "a large german sheperd that belongs to five hostile and unfriendly, israeli children determined to mark their turf. Basically in a nutshell: the little dibs were trying to get the dog to attack my nine year old, so my oldest son did the most natural thing that occured to him - he punched the lead kid really hard, IN THE FACE - they shove my older kid down to the ground - but along comes the little six year old ( who no-one realizes is even a threat), with a very sharp, rusty nail, which he has been saving for just such an occasion - he sticks the israeli kid in the back with it ( at this point in the tale my six year old's face cracks into a huge grin and he shoves his little fists up into the air in a move signaling victory).... the israeli bully is distracted because he is howling in pain, my older son makes his move and bolts with his younger brother in tow.......
Different children might say : "I'm not going back to that park" or "I'll only go back with mommy and daddy"
Not my Children - Heres their discussion: the numbers were unfair, five big kids, and a dog, against two( no mention of the fact that the six year old was significantly younger, it is now assumed 'he can hold his own'...so next time what are they gonna do they'll bring their brother my eight year old son, too!
....and my middle son, the eight year old, who is now disappointed that he wasn't there to be in on it... (and is also our tactical genius) .....is busy working on improved battle techniques.
Sighhhhhhhh
Well we are invited out to Shabbos lunch a few weeks later.......
You know how kids say the Darndest things?
We are all sittin' around having a pleasant meal, when my eight year old, feels compelled to bring up the story in the park.
He opens with "Guess what happened".....
Knowing full well that, that kind of opening salvo never, ever has happy consequences, I try to shush him.
With a big, desperate grin plastered all over my face, I hurriedly talk over him - "Oh Yeah, thats a great story, yeah, yeah we all know it.
But of course, the hostess is now locked and loaded on the 'little big mouth' -
Hoping to nip what looks like a very, promising disaster, I'm throwing out desperate lines, meant to appease, placate, and hopefully shut him up - things like....
"Yeah, you can tell it to us later Honey bear, Darling, Precious Angel" (through gritted teeth, mind you!).........
(all the while thinking - little monster, you are sooooooooo so up shits creek, when we get home - because you are in Time Out, like for FOREVER - and that kid is never seeing his DS or a movie AGAIN).
Yet with a twinkle in his eye and a knowing smile on his face - he plows full steam ahead into a colorfully annotated version of the park story.....and I am dying of mortification.
Well just before I melt into a mommy size puddle of shame (because, I am sure this woman now thinks its like "Lord of the Flies" in our house)
- the woman begins to briskly nod her head approvingly.
HUH? Did I miss something......I'm wondering to myself.
"Yeah, you did the right thing", said the woman, who is both calm, collected and briskly efficient (and also surprisingly has a really great sense of humor).
She goes on to inform us that if you go to an adult, any adult, even a parent and especially a teacher.....you are blacklisted on the playground for life. Israelis don't tolerate no whinny ass babies. You gotta get out there and draw first blood and even if your child is left curled in a fetal ball of 'blood' and 'excruciating pain' (as she proudly, informs us her son has experienced this exact situation - I wince)..... "its a good thing" she explains - because now, you've earned some serious "street cred"!!!
......and cause you fought back and stood up for yourself... there is even a good chance they wont pick on you again, of course, no promises!
Like I said "We're living in the Wild Wild West....This is Israel Baby!!!
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